I had a cute realization this week and it happened the way uneventful things do. I was at the kitchen counter, washing the dishes when it hit me - that I have, for a long while, stopped blaming myself for everything.
Thursday, September 6, 2018
Running to
Today I spent an afternoon listening to people who inspire me to think better, in a manner that leaves me really disgusted.
In an odd way, it comforts me to think that maybe I am the problematic one. There are so many grey lines in figuring out what is right that although I would like to swear by all my heart that the people who were talking in front of me earlier were all hypocrites, what do I really know? I am occasionally a hypocrite too.
So I did a good amount of running this afternoon , to remind myself that I am still blessed to have the leisure to do what I really love to do after 8 hours of being in a desk listening to things I don't WANT to hear. Such is the balance of life.
and whilst I was running, I thought of how I always tell people that running is my meditation. That running is where I run to when things get sour. Maybe some of us do that too. We run to think. We run to forget , to breathe better, to get sore, to hurt in the right places, to be stronger, to be resilient.
Today I ran to remind myself that my failures and victories are sweet when taken together and I have only just begun. Okay, sometimes I halt in the face of anxiety, but anxiety is a vicious biatch and I am always fighting back ... in a non-violent way, hello Gandhi!
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